When I first started therapy for childhood trauma, I wanted immediate answers, tools, and tips to handle my anxiety as an adult. I didn’t want to delve into my past; I wanted to escape it. Unfortunately, that’s not how overcoming trauma works.
Healing and rebuilding from traumatic or toxic situations takes time. But I needed ways to alleviate the immediate stress immediately. How could I physically survive? It felt like I was just surviving, trying to get through each day without a panic attack, hoping the next day would be a little easier.
So, I built my own toolkit for survival—things I could do immediately to get by and what ultimately got me through many dark days. Below are some items from my toolkit. Check out the Toolkit page on the site for more tips and tricks you can use right now.
You can build your own toolkit with things that work for you. Write them down, make a mood board, or pop them into your phone’s notes app. Have them handy so you can use them whenever needed.
Toolkit for Survival
Smell, taste, see, touch & hear – If you are spiraling or triggered, stop, slow down, and notice your surroundings. What can you smell, taste, see, touch, or hear? Don’t stop until you can complete the list. Repeat those words to yourself. Focusing intensely on something else can draw your mind to another place, especially when it involves all your senses.
Shower Cries – Yes, shower cries. These were lifesavers for me. I would tell myself, “You have your shower to cry.” Get it all out – ugly cry, feel everything, be angry, let the tears mix with the water. But once the shower is over, move on and do not let those thoughts occupy your brain anymore.
Jewelry – Not buying something new, though that might help! I mean a piece of jewelry you can hold, wear, or fiddle with when you are in a bad place. Drawing your touch senses elsewhere might help distract your mind. You can also find jewelry specially made for anxiety.
One Thing a Month – I made sure every month I had something to look forward to. I wrote out all the months in the year on my phone and looked for events, or activities in my city to book or attend. I made sure I had at least one thing for each month. When I was in a dark place and struggling to see the good, I would look at my notes app and see what I had coming up to be excited about. I would then distract myself by thinking about what I needed to prepare for that event. Was it booking flights, accommodation, choosing an outfit or looking at the menu of the place I was going to? I would use my one thing a month to distract myself with something positive.
Redirect – When something negative fills your head, have a codeword that you like and just repeat that to yourself until it becomes annoying. It’s about recognising that you are triggered and redirecting your thoughts.
Write your story – Write out your story, your thoughts, what’s bothering you. Keep a pen and paper with you in your toolkit or use your phone. Write down what’s taking up your brain space. Then, send them to Gaslit to Light to share with others! You may find that sharing your experiences is incredibly helpful and cathartic.
Sometimes waiting for a therapist to give you some answers takes too long, or therapy might not work for you – and that’s perfectly fine too. See this blog Is Therapy Right For Me? for more on this. You might be looking for immediate ways to help with anxiety or stress.
Spend some time building a toolkit for survival for yourself. There are lots of things you can have in your toolkit, the Toolkit page has some more ideas. Keep your tools handy so you can feel safe. Most importantly, whatever works for you, works.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog is for informational purposes only. It is not intended to substitute for professional advice, treatment or diagnosis. Always seek the advice of a professional in these circumstances. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
Comments